Viridi the goddess of dank
by Okeybutmumidontwant2die
Summary: it's about viridi the goddess of weed what more do u want
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

It was a cold, dark and rainy day and nobody gave a shit. people were out shopping and having the sex and doing other thing s that people do. don't ask me what people do cause idk

Viridi the goddess of nature was walking down the street for whatever reason. now listen here u guys, being the goddess of nature had its perks, viridi was also known as the goddess of sweet, sweet dank. she loves her weed. 420 blaze it!

now we're gonna move to cias oint of view

cia was cooking up her sweet dank and that's about all I got about cia right now come back l8tr

it turns out viridi was walking home to her room full of link poster cause shE FOOIKEN LOVES LONK so she got home n had some Doritos cause Doritos give life to her. she starting wrapping up some joints.

then, an hour later... "yes my precious mary jane's ready!" viridi beamed. soon she realized that she wanted to share this precious dank with someone however not that loser palutena or that straight edge pit, so she called up her best friend cia. the three things that these ladies had in common were their love for war, love for link, and finally, they're both terrible people.

so viride called cia up and they started talking bout how motherfucking sexy links singular fourth ab on his left side is, "I'd cum on that ab." Said cia, then dark pit yelled from his room (viride n dark pit live together) "ID CUM ON THAT AB" he said looking at porn of Abraham Lincoln, aka our lord n saviour.

"SHUT THE FRUCK UOP DARK ARMPIT" viridi said perfectly calmly because she is the goddess of harmunee and balance and calm as well as sweet sweet dank.

dark pit cried like the edgy emo he is and then xploded so he's ded

then Lana who was reading a book about something that no one cares about because no one likes lama said "what are you guy talking about" then cia, being the hardcore furry she is said "I AM A WULF MAGICIAN NOT A GUY GOD LAANA U NEVER APPRECIATE MI"

then Lana was overwhelmed with stupidness and imploded so she's ded.

then cia came over the viridis hose and they smoked the dank because they're dank ass criminals that need to be stopped... BUT WOLL THEY? TO BEE CONTINUD

end of chapter one

Jk that was horrible even for a crack fic

cia and viridi discussed link bc he is their god. How much they wanted to do the fuck link thing, such a sexy thing link is, with his fourth ab on his left side, so sexi

When viridi and cia became high as fuck, they walked down to the 420 club. The 420 club is known for 11 things

1\. It's name  
2\. It's purpose  
3\. The fact that they're are eleven things it is known for  
4\. Weed  
5\. Dank  
6\. SEXAHHHHHHHHH  
7\. the letter q  
8\. 4 more things

so obviously it is a popular place to smoke the weeds. But remember, it is invisible, because if it weren't well... ILLEGAL would say link the police man who fights dank ass crime. and viridi n cia (aka the owners of 420 club) would be arrested and could never fuck link just as they have dreamed.

Viridi walked into the 420 club with cia following, she looked to to weedtender (the weedy equivalent to bartender)"Do you have... The WEEDS?" Viridi was so high that she said all of those question marks out loud. What a fucking champ.

The weed tender looked shocked then asked viridi how she knew about the weeds, then cia said "BECAUSE WEED"

Suddenly, ness the kid came out of the walls because he is amaIng and can go through walls.

"U have lovely weed" ness said to viridi.

"we make the be s t weed" said viridi

"yeah but do yuou have weEED cCoFFEE?" NESS YELLED

"WHOA" exclaimed viridi

"WHOA" exclaimed cia

"WHOA" exclaimed ness

"WHOA" exclaimed the very depressed sea serpant creature who was hiding from his clingy boyfriend frodo bagins

Cia n viridi walked up to ness n whispered in his ear. Cia said "where r ur parents" and viridi said "what is weed cofe"

Ness turned to cia and said "d-e-d" then started to cri.

Then ness turned to viridi and shoved an enTRIE FUOKING WEEEEDDE COFFE EDOWN HER THROAT!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!5!1!1!1!11!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!

then she ded OH NO

the real end of chapter uno (I really hope that's one in Spanish)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Viridi woke up, somewhere unearthly. She looked around but all she could see was weed. She couldn't see Cia, or Ness, or the sea serpent in a relationship with frodo bagins.

"Where am I?" She said. Suddenly, coming out of nowhere, Jesus Christ himself walked over to Viridi, "JESUS?" Viridi exclaimed in whatever emotion she was feeling.

"Yes, Viridi, for I have forgiven you for your sins." Jesus said.

Viridi started to cri, "ily jesus."she said.

"Ikr," jesus responded.

"Why am I here, for my sins are horrible ones."

"You literally fucking smoked weed what the fuck how is that terrible"

"Idk" viridi said, "wait... Why do I love u, if ur book is filled with incest?"

"NO ONE NEEDS TO FUCKING KNOW ABOUT THAT VIRIDI" Jesus yelled, "DAD VIRID SO MEAN TO ME. FUCK IT IM BANISHING U TO..."

"oh no, please not there..."

Jesus's eyes filled with evil, "the shadow realm" then he erupted with evil laughter, "and guess what" also jesus is fucking stupid. he can't say that cause it's not my joke, god dammit Jesus.

"Wut"

"ur stupid ded friends lumositydotcom and broken glass kid r coming with u!"

"Wut"

then Jesus made some doors, then opened the doors to reveal Lana and Dark Pit! They were covered in bruises but no one gave a shit.

"Virodu!" Dark Pit gasped in happiness.

" FECCCCCCCCCCCK" viridi screamed.

"Don't you smoke the weeds with my sister?" Lama asked.

"I don't like u."

"Cool"

Jesus then interrupted, "YO DAWGS U GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN DOWN THERE SAY HI TO SATAN 4 MI #yoloswag #CoD #QuickScope #MLG #lolm2k"

then jesus flicked his hand up, and they disappeared when he flicked it down.

"Jesus have u been playing CoD again?" Jehovah asked.

"Fuck off dad holy shit u never let me do anything"

-on earth-

viridi, dark armpit and Llama all appeared out of nowhere.

"This is the shadow realm? WHERES ALL THE FUCKING EDGE?" Dark armpit screamed.

"no this is earth." Lumosity said. That training on lumositydotcom really pays off for her.

"brb I'm texting cia she's got some weeds" viridi said, then she showed her fone to Lana, then sniffed it, because she has a weed case that smells like weed on her fone.

"FUCKING HELL VURUDU ALL U FUKING CARE BAOUT IS WEED WHY NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE FUCKING LACK OF EDGE U PIECE OF SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCK FUCKING SHIT SHIT DICK FUCK ORANGE" dank armpit screamed again cause he's dank. Jk he's really not.

"what time is it" Lana asked.

"4:20." Viridi answered.

"sexi" cia said because viridi had literally just recently called her with her fone.

"thank u so much cia ur the only 1 who cares about me" said v-gurl.

"U r welcome now wait there I am comin to get u guys"

"okey" ness said. ness, due to the fact that Lucas has just been confirmed for smash 4, is now super happy and thanks to that he can teleport everywhere. this is all ur fault sakurai. all.

ness, lama, dark armpit n viridi the goddess of dank kush walked around wherever they were for days, dehydrated, exhausted and really fucking horny. well, only dark pit was horny, he really needed to see his bæ, Abraham Lincoln.

"I NEED 2 C MY Bæ, ABRAHAM LINCOLN" guess who motherfucking said that

"WE KNOW!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!11!11!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!11!1!1!1!11!1!11!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1" Viridi shouted bc she is viridi.

"guys..." cia said on the phone bc viridi has infinite charge, "I need to tell u guys something."

"YE?" viridi said"

"I'm prego..."


	3. Chapter 3

This one is short bc I'm lazy also it leaves on a cliffhanger :/

Chapter 3:

They all gasped in relief as they knew Cia had been practicing that transformation spell to turn herself into a bottle of prego for fucking YEARS!

I have gotten so many emails from for reviews being shocked about cias pregnancy, BUT UR ALL WRON G HAHA

Anyways,

"I'm so happy for you, congratulations!" v-gurl exclaimed in obvious happiness because she's so happy for cia, congratulations!

"no, guys, I'm actually pregnant. I'm a pregnant prego." Cia respowait wut

what

who did this

was it Abraham Lincoln who made cia pregnant?

"NO BABRAHAM IS MY BF " dark armpit screamed me. what a fucking bucket dipper, always dipping my bucket and making me sad :(

"who r u talking 2" asked cia

"ur mom" GET FUCKING REKT CIA

anyway cia teleported to them bc she can apparently? then she teleported them back to the safety of humanity. whoops jk, back to the FUCKING INSANITY of humanity, some1 give me a high five 4 that

"Viridi, it is I, Jesus again-"

"FUOOK THE FUK OFF JESUS" dark pit yelled, then Jesus decapitated him... :/ whoops

"the fuck u saying bout my son u piece of edge trash?" god asked. what a fucking honour

"UR SON IS FOOKING STUPID M8 U WANNA FOOKING GO?" dark pit screamed

"I need some weed" Viridi said, then she with ness, bc she needed some weed.

"I'm going home now" Lana, then she teleported away to her bf's house, the house of Jack white. they're in a relationship, proven with science.

what will happen? stay tuned kids, and don't forget to buy every piece of merch u see. BYE I LOVE U ALL UNLESS UR A CENTIPEDE OR HATE PEPE


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4

Jesus looked down unto Dark Pit, "U have sinned m8."

"the duck is a sin"

"ur mom getrektwhiteboi" god said

"the fuck r u m8?" dark pit screamed

"edgier than u" god screamed back.

Dark Pit got his bow out and shot god in the face. Christians cried everywhere.

"DUUUUDE" Jesus screamed

"eyyyyy" dark pit said back. they then sat down, had a picknik, went to the park, bought a dog, bought a house, adopted a child, raised the child to agree with communism, leaded a revolution, meet and shook hands with Putin, killed millions. it was tragic

then they remembered one of them is literally Jesus Christ himself and then they stopped bc Jesus would never do that.

"ily bby" dark pit said to Jesus

"same m8" Jesus responded.

anyways, god came back from the dead m shoved an entire cockroach up dark pits ass

"BRUUUH" dark pit screamed.

god told Jesus to go to his room n Jesus was all like "lol ok bye" so Jesus is gone

dark pit went up to god n said "I'm gonna pull a sick uppercut on u m8" then dark pit pulled a sick uppercut m8

god fell back, then god (get it, cuase he's god lol) up and launched his entire fist at dark pit. literally, bc u c, god can remove his body parts at will. poor will amirite?

dark pit met the fist with a fucking sick fist bump. god was so fucking baffled he ded, metaphorically, at least.

suuddnly, out of very few places possible, chrek appeared. it was insane, so dark pit poonched chrek in his fucking face and chrek died. chrek was completely meaningless to the plot. what a piece of shit

while this was happening, god created a sick hammer and then threw it at dark pit after he destroyed chrek. dark pit fell down. AND HE DED

!

n

n

n

n

no

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n

n


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5

viridi was smoking some weeeds with her bffffffffffffffffff cia, who is not at all related to viridis bff, Thomas the tank engine, whom she had a crush on for years. How badly she desired the train cock...

"u wanna go find lonk?" cia suggested.

"after I'm done this joint m80."

"k"

then, the joint viridi was smoking turned out to be one of the longest joints in existence, and they spent four hours trying to just remove it from her mouth, because it was so big.

after, uhh, twenty seven hours they finally removed the huge fucking joint and they went to the police station to find link, because link is a police man, who fights dank-ass creme.

"gg sorry ur quick-scoping skillz r off today m80" one police officer said to another, passing Cia and Viridi

"excuse us can u tell us where link is" Cia asked the police officers.

"probably sucking dick lol" they high fived.

then link came up to them and COMPLETELY INHALED THEIR PENISES AND THEY DIED FROM THE MOVING ORGASM THEY HAD!"

"hi link wanna smoke weed with us" Viridi asked

"Viridi I'm a police man and I fight dank ass crime and am anti-drug-pro-dogs I will have to arrest u guys now say hi to chad in the holding cell for" link said as he handcuffed the girls

"who's chad" cia asked

link looked to the sky, almost religiously, "He will cleanse us of sin"

then they went in and played basketball with chad .


	6. Chapter 6

fuckers #Xx_420-MEME-4-LYFE_xX


End file.
